of those who have faith

there is so much encouragement to be had in spurring each other on in our confidence in Christ. as I continue to prepare my heart for missions in a new country, I want to admit I’ve been quick to get nervous about my “readiness.” I have lived a lot of my life with the desire to learn and keep learning, to grow and keep growing, and to be wise and keep seeking wisdom. all of these are commanded in scripture, but I think I chose not to acknowledge the urge to have confidence. 

I have always believed, I think, that confidence was a negative quality, one not to be sought by a woman especially. maybe I subconsciously thought, even, that it was a prideful quality. to some extent it is, but I missed the idea that there is a healthy possession of confidence, and it’s the one presented in Hebrews 10. it is found in many other places, but here is where I have been able to make the distinction. it’s a passage where I can see more clearly that what matters is the object of my confidence, rather than the possession of it itself. 

in different times in my life I often have come running back to Hebrews as a “safe space”, a book that I usually leave with tears of awe at God’s people and strength for endurance. there are times when I forget they are not just story-book characters, and other times when I don’t flip to it at all. have you had the chance to read this book? what happens to your faith when you read of the character of God’s people from the very beginning? when you read of the hard-to-believe plan of redemption and the old and new covenant? 

there is so much theology to soak up that I often lose track of time in one chapter or paragraph alone. in these months of change, of preparation for leaving to start a “new way of living,” I am encouraged and challenged by chapter 10, which culminates Christ’s sacrifice and God’s desire for our response to it.  ( disclaimer: you may want your bible for this because woah 🙂 )

we have so much to learn in v 1-18 alone, but for now I will just share some of my thoughts from 19 on. I can see that they directly correlate though because our confidence is a response to Christ’s forgiveness. without that, there would be no need for confidence. this is the new covenant that we are a part of, and goodness am I thankful for it. all of the intelligence and wisdom on earth could never have dreamt it up. it is the moment when Christ says, “Behold, I have come to do Your will,” that humbles me right to my insides (v 7). 

when I’m asked how I am feeling about  moving to the Philippines, I go through a series of thoughts. I have a moment of fear, then I can’t stop smiling because of how thankful I am that I even get the chance to do something unique, and then I usually think about the grandness of it. I am tempted to be overwhelmed with emotions of anxiety or worry that I’m not ready, but then the Lord reminds me of it compared to His grandeur. this is God you’re talking about, anna ! th Creator that already came and already did the hardest thing. this is why the writer of Hebrews could say with confidence,

“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful.” Hebr. 10:23

the things that I might come across there, or need to be brave to discuss, or open up and let go of my pride in, are the very same things that I need to be willing to give up over here in America — I just may never experience them the same because of the drastically different culture. I know I keep saying it, but the gospel contains the same redemptive message whether in my work place or across the world or in school or in the middle of a forest somewhere. fill in the location where you live and see if you truly believe that – because if you’re like me, you’ll find that you start to live like you don’t. for me, that may look like trying to have the smallest personality in the room, not believing that I could go do scary things or learn a new language from scratch, not accepting the gift of peace, or ( ug ) defaulting to complaining. 

*side rant/ confession: I often just don’t let myself believe that scary can mean two totally different things depending on whether it’s the first time doing something or the one-hundreth ! we will always be in a different stage of life than others around us. we are conditioned as we grow up to always be around peers that are similar in experience and knowledge to us. when we grow up and find ourselves in the mix with both wise mentors and immature people that don’t understand us, confidence gets confusing. it becomes contextual and possessive and an object of impression. how can we train our hearts to obtain it as a response of gratitude instead?

confidence is a gift when it becomes steadfastness. 

I want to live like 1 Peter 4:9, “Therefore, let those who suffer according to God’s will entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good.”

He even lets us and wants us to call him Creator while we trust and thank Him. this is what Paul means in Romans 5 when he says “hope does not put us to shame…” confidence is a result of a heart that grasps the gospel message and sees and values the sacrifice made for it and the new covenant put in place to ensure an eternity with our Creator. confidence is a heart not afraid to draw near and not afraid to travel out into the scary because it holds onto the faithfulness of Jesus. confidence is compassion because it has eyes to see fellowship in suffering together. confidence knows that it needs endurance because it has become a student of the Old Testament as well and sees that even in hopelessness and trial there is reward.

will you hold me accountable and become a student of scripture with me? and more than that — in that rather, a student of God? there is so much to see and be driven by. and to bring it all back around, I want to tell you how grateful I am to walk alongside you in confidence – not in the flesh, but in gratefulness and in a response to watching God work so differently in our lives. it’s why I chose Hebrews 10:39 for the front of the t-shirt I designed to support my time in the Philippines. 

“But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have faith and preserve their souls.”

there is first a warning in v 37-38: “yet a little while, and the coming one will come and will not delay; but my righteous one shall live by faith, and if he shrinks back, my soul has no pleasure in him.” it’s found back in verse 26, where we have received the knowledge of the truth yet rejected it. I pray that I am not found that way. even still, my obedience is not produced by fear, but in my response of gratitude for the gift of grace. my favorite discovery, though,  may be my realization that the Lord spoke this in Habakkuk 2. and He was teaching me about a year ago, too // ☟

the gift of confidence turned into steadfastness is patient and joyful endurance. God is so good to allow us to desire the same confidence that so many others before us have – and I PRAY that you and I will be found to be “of those who have faith,” for the sake of God’s glory.

anna cherie